I feed myself the story that I can be more, and therefore, receive more approval from those around me. Looking back, I am glad my path has been what it is, up and down, filled with detours and tragedies. I’ve learned along the way that I am the only one who needs to be fulfilled and happy with a decision. Furthermore, I am the only one who knows what I need.
The greatest part is, once I am fulfilled, others who care about me will also be happy, and I will have accomplished what I tried to in the first place.
Our reactions to situations point directly to our internal state. Are we angry? Anger will surface in our reaction to a life situation. Are we full of guilt? Guilt will surface in our reactions during the day. So will pride, joy, and yes, peace. There are many ways to react to the same scenario. Today is everything because it is an opportunity to observe your reactions, and therefore your inner emotional being. Today is an opportunity to choose differently and create a new internal imprint.
Take a minute and ask yourself, "What do I need to hear right now?" Your heart already knows. Your wise intuition tells you the next right move. You don't have to resist your inner voice just because it's telling you to do something you don't want to do. There's a difference between talking yourself out of something hard and following your gut.
My children only expose every insecurity I've ever had because parenting is a daily practice in self-love and self-discipline, which are two areas I need to work on. No matter how much we grow, awaken, and work to reach our highest self, we are still ourself. Owning my shadow might look like accepting the fact that I hate being rejected and ignored. But just because I feel dismissed by my children doesn't mean I have to act on it by overly blaming them. We still have the parts of us we don't like, but willingness to accept them and face them makes these qualities a little less scary, and a little more manageable.
Part of moving on from my marriage has been learning to be independent - financially, emotionally, as a parent, and as a home owner. I have learned that I am my own rescuer, not someone else. Relying on people is good, but not at the expense of disregarding our own capabilities and worth. I am no different on my own than I was when I was married - I only believed the illusion that life was easier and safer with a partner.
Our life is cloaked in stories based on experience. When something validates our story, it makes the groove that much deeper, and the story that much more believable. Our stories create habits that turn into addictions and obsessions. Our stories prevent us from taking risks. They keep us safe and tethered to the material world and all its illusions. Our stories keep us small; because as long as our ego tells us we are unworthy, lacking, and not enough, it holds all the power.