healing through writing
“By healing ourselves, we heal the world.”
- Molly Chanson
Soul Ma’s mission is to lift up the female intuitive spirit and demonstrate our inherent resilience. So that other women are inspired to create their own hero story.
I write about my personal experiences in marriage, motherhood, addiction, and divorce, and my path to healing through yoga, writing, and trusting my own heart. I share my own pain stories, as well as my resilience, in order to connect with women who have a similar experience or yearning – to offer them the space, and the permission, to heal, grow, and transform into their bravest self.
With love, grace, and soul,
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More about me, and my reason:
I grew up in the Midwest, the oldest of 3, raised by two loving parents who are still together. We didn’t live a lavish life, but I also never felt poor. I always did what was expected of me, like wearing the pink dresses to church my mother sewed for me, while my sister kicked and screamed and begged to wear pants like our brother. I kept my mouth shut, and always wondered why she didn’t just play along. Wasn’t it easier that way?
Seems ideal, right? But negative feelings and emotions were always pushed under the rug in my family - and continues in society as women. If anything bad happened during my childhood, I wouldn’t know. Stressful things like illness, death, or loss of a job were always kept from the kids. My parents manufactured a veil of happiness around everything, as if sadness and pain didn’t exist, and as a result, I spent my entire life feeling guilty whenever a negative emotion surfaced.
I had a quarter-life crisis while in graduate school because I couldn’t handle the uncertainty of my future. I never dealt with a sexual assault because I didn’t want to disrupt my upcoming wedding plans. Then, I became a new mom and the roller coaster of emotions became way too much for me to handle. I loved and feared motherhood all at once. I had no coping skills for post-partum depression, colic, sleep deprivation, fear, anxiety. I felt so ashamed that I was feeling such negative emotions when I loved my babies so much. Was something wrong with me as a mother? Wasn’t everything supposed to be perfect? Everyone else around me was so happy, so why wasn’t I?
I founded and designed a clothing line after my two boys were born - a maternity and breastfeeding line for new moms. And I knew in my heart I was a creative entrepreneur! My desire to start and run a business, take the leap, and serve new moms filled me with as much passion and dedication as it took to raise my boys, be a wife, and grow into the person I always wanted to be.
Running a business, raising kids, and maintaining my marriage was HARD. But worth it. Then, the unthinkable happened - I found out my husband had been having an affair 2 years after I sensed something was wrong in our marriage. I asked him, I questioned myself, but as usual, I pushed those feelings away and told myself to look around – at my beautiful home, my healthy boys, and my happy family. And I said to myself – how dare you be sad? Be grateful, and all will be fine.
Finally learning the truth freed me. I was at my bottom. I started writing. I started sharing my stories and using my voice – for the first time. I stopped second guessing myself and started admitting how I felt, no matter what. I faced head on what had now become a scary alcohol addiction due to always pushing away my feelings and hiding from reality. I dove into yoga and allowed myself to cry in the poses, especially the ones that opened my heart.
I started my business in order to help other women – women who might be afraid to admit how they feel, or who have never been taught how, or who feel guilty for experiencing a range of emotions (good and bad), and have no idea how to express themselves. I share my story, and use my voice, in order to give other women permission to do the same – to open their hearts, open their mouths, and unearth their pain. Our world needs the collective feminine spirit, now more than ever. It’s time to be heard. It’s time to be brave enough to say who you are, and discover why you’re here.
Please email me about anything, and thank you for letting me share something about me :)